Wank wipes are a necessity. Roll out the white carpet before even thinking about strangling Kojak. Even if you are an awful shot it’s still best to lay down the law before hand. Don’t attempt to wank when drunk. Particularly if you are still living with your parents. Not only could you cause yourself some unnecessary damage downstairs, you’ll also begin taking major risks i.e. leaving your bedroom door open or leaving the sound on too loud. Resist all temptation to have a novelty wank. A novelty wank is a particularly risky tug in uncharted territory, for example the office, a library or a public convenience. It will invariably end in disaster.